You're a top bird.

"I don't know! It's a secret entrance!"

I think that sentence pretty much sums up last night. It was like I fell down the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland. I had absolutely NO control over anything for the entire duration of the night, and as it was one of the first nights of it's kind during my stay in Australia, I feel it must be recorded.

Me and the girls decided to check out Broad Beach because we heard from numerous sources that it had a lot of really chill bars instead of clubs, which is more like the scene at Surfer's Paradise. After a 45 minute vomit inducing bus ride, we get there to find out it's more like a strip of restaurants, or non-bars. All the restaurants are beautiful, yes, but not bars. So we go in this one place that had a Latino band playing with a bongo player and everything, and it had a lot of good vibes going on. However, there was a 50 year old British guy who could've been my father who felt the need to grope all of us. He even went as far as to slap Abby on the bum several times. He was so aggressive and creepy that we all had to leave within 15 minutes. I don't understand how pieces of shit (excuse my language) like that still think it's okay to touch girls like that, but I digress.

So we take a cab back to Bond and head over to Varsity Tavern. There's lots of drinks and dancing and we all have a good time. We meet some guys, have some laughs, no big story there. I met one guy and talked to him for some time and as we parted ways he suddenly screamed at me "THANKS CLANCY YOU'RE A TOP BIRD." Maybe it's because we all had a few drinks, but all of us girls started dying laughing because that's the most awkward compliment I've ever received (at least I'm 99% sure it was a compliment).

Then we decide to go to a hotel bar called 360 and we arrive to find a mob trying to squeeze themselves onto the elevator. Just putting this out there, but I'm deathly scared of elevators, so there was no chance in hell of me getting on that thing with 30 other drunk Australians. As Caitlin, Jackie and I start to leave, I spy a very Gumby looking Aussie disappear behind a camouflaged door on the side of the building. I yell, "Hey! Where does that go?" And he pops his head out with the biggest grin I've ever seen and giggles "hehehe I don't know! IT'S A SECRET ENTRANCE!"

Who wouldn't follow a guy like that? So we follow him and get into the bar with no chance of dying on an overloaded elevator. The bar wasn't worth all the effort and me and Caitlin bounce after a few minutes. We walk by a fight that's going on near the lake but we can't make out any of the guy's faces in the dark.

We get back on campus and decide to sit in the chairs outside of Don's Tavern, which has been closed for a few hours now. We've not been sitting for more than 5 minutes when a bunch of severely intoxicated Aussies walk by us and yell "Look! GIRLS!"

So a pack of drunk dudes decide to pull up a chair and chat with us. All started out innocently enough. They asked us about America, said they loved our accents, asked us what we were studying. It was actually a really good conversation. I got to "plait" or braid one of their rat tails, it was just a good time had by all.

All of a sudden, they start to chant. Now, Australians have a chant for pretty much any situation, and do so at any opportunity. So they start to chant about something and me and Caitlin are laughing and all of a sudden one of them jumps up on one of the teeny tiny tables and starts to rock back and forth. He's a big dude. It was a tiny table. At this, all of his mates jump up and start absolutely destroying the place. There knocking over the tables, throwing chairs, smashing their beer bottles and screaming. It was like watching a pack of monkeys. Then, the guy on the table decides to jump from one table to another, and in doing so kicked me in the head. So I jump up and I start screaming "YOU GUYS NEED TO CHILL THE F*CK OUT. WHAT THE F*CK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU" and so on and so forth.

They start laughing at me and going "Clancy's freakin out! Clancy's freakin out!" And I'm sorry, but when you have two girls and 10 or so very drunk guys, you get kind of scared, because they could've easily done anything they wanted to us. One of the kids starts yelling that security is coming, so me and Caitlin take the opportunity to run. Just as we get to our dorm door, we heard one of them yell "CLANCY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" I've never locked a door faster. I always heard that Australians can't hold their liquor, but damn.

And that's how it is here every night! Australians don't just get drunk, they get TRASHED every. single. night. I think they might rival the Irish. I've never seen people drink this way and get so rowdy while drunk. It's kind of a turn off. As I said before, I'm not really diggin the Australian male, and the way they act when they're drunk just adds to that feeling.

Then today I found out that those same guys had tried to rob somebody's friend earlier in the night, and I'm pretty sure that it wasn't a good idea to hang out with them. Oh well, lesson learned: Don't let a bunch of drunk Australian guys join you for a chat at 2 AM.

We're going to Byron Bay for the day tomorrow. We're going surfing and hiking and apparently it's a really cool hippie town. I'm nervous about the surfing because I'm pretty sure I'm going to be terrifyingly awful, but I'm trying to be positive.

Also, I most definitely felt more than a twinge of homesickness today :( I'm having the time of my life here, but I just wish my friends and family back home were here to experience it with me.